Why am I so tired?
I will never understand why I convince myself I am paying attention.
Especially when I realize that it has happened again and I’ve fallen unconscious for hours.
Do You speak to me?
What are the lessons?
Certainly I must be a terrible student to be falling asleep in class all the time, and I only think that I have been awake and listening to You!
But You simply laugh and smile a mysterious smile. You whisper secrets that are nearly unintelligible and Your low chanting seems almost inaudible, as my poor brain struggles to follow along…
I have strange dreams about You.
I’ve misplaced an earring. I’ve forgotten the end of the story. I’ve become lost in the woods.
You tell me not to worry.
You remind me that important things are never truly lost.
You assure me that the words will come to me; that the path will appear soon enough.
My confusion, my loss, my fear is only temporary; these are nothing more than what has grown from the misplaced beliefs and comfortable illusions I’ve created.
Your face, Your hands, the weight of Your presence are the only tangible things to believe in, the only solid proof to be trusted.
But I am afraid to close my eyes.
I cling to Your hand.
I falter; I fail.
The tears flow out from my eyes. I am ashamed of my fear, my indecision, my helpless rage.
You run Your thumb under each of my eyes and lick Your fingers thoughtfully, nodding as You respond:
You worry too much. You think too much. Trust Me.